Sunday, 16 June 2013

Pugs and prejudice.

I have volunteered to look after a pug for the weekend; I have seen a lot of pug based internet activity in the past and they have been advertised openly on the front of BBC comedians. This is, however, the first experience I have had in the extended company of one. When I see my guest for the first time he is lunging wildly at passers by and making high pitched noises at them; I am not filled with confidence that the weekend will be a success.
Pugs: Racist.

Men 'to blame for the menopause'.

There are numerous reasons why the science behind this seems as questionable as the way it is worded: In 1900 in the U.K the average life expectancy was 50, (obviously there were exceptions) if you began having any sort of hot flush there would probably be a certain level of gratitude that you being provided with the opportunity to do so. So if humans, en mass, didn’t exist at this age, it seems unlikely that any adaptations were taking place in the body of them. There would be no point.

Natural selection does not happen at speed, it is well known for this. Since life expectancy has gone up it is unlikely that any evolutionary leaps (there is no such thing as an evolutionary leap by the way, only evolution, it is a figure of speech) that would have drastically altered how the body ages. Young people are healthier and more likely to successfully breed: Teenagers are rampant. At 16 it did not occur to me to have sex to procreate, I would have slept with a fifty year old, I would probably have slept with her sofa. There is a reason for this.

As I age my sperm count will decrease (which everybody, including me, is grateful for) and my enthusiasm for coitus will ebb. I blame women. If more nineteen year old Russian tennis players frequently sucked me off then I would obviously defy the aging process.

The noises that a pug makes: Not just when food disappears into its bizarrely wrinkled face but just generally. The consistent gurgling and hacking; mysterious gurgling noises are emitted from various points on its barrel like physique. The gurgling noises that he produces are interrupted when there is something on the television that he finds disagreeable: So far these have been Morris dancers, (that were incorporated into some sort of twee detective drivel) that noise that Xena warrior princess makes when she is attacking and anyone black. I find the last on this list ever so slightly disturbing.

I suppose I should be pleased that someone in America is reading this, even if they are reading my e-mails as well. I’m not sure that I am reacting in the right way to the news that government agencies are viewing my behavior, this might be, on my part that my internet behavior is designed to be quite public; I, for example, would quite like people to read this.

I imagine that Facebook is less of a worry for some people; anyone that is clever enough not to be a youth interaction fuckwit for the metropolitan police goes to some effort to consider what they are putting on a public domain anyway. But are we missing the point?

Are we guilty of a western orientated arrogance as we mock countries such as China and Iran for monitoring the internet activities of their populace? Are there too many rhetorical questions?

Bastards: Come in all shapes, sizes and, er, yeah.
The two striking elements of the American government following the internet proclivities of Europeans are based on the modern day lack of a class divide and the old long standing divide between politicians and actual members of the populace. Either the American government has no respect for the inhabitants of any nation, or their government and our own has absolutely no respect for us. The lack of reaction on the part of the sniveling weasels that run this island is embarrassing for them and us. It should make us consider why a coalition was ever formed in peace time and is it as wobbly as the original election of George Bush?

The pug is jolly: He is rolling about on a bean bag and snuffling in a delightful manner; he chases things with his paws like a cat, this might be due to the fact that his mouth is frankly shit at anything apart from making gurgling noises. The gurgling noises are quite cute now I have come to terms with the fact that he makes them at all.  
Eyebrows: Some people can be judged by their appearance.

A friend of mine came to visit on Saturday evening: My friend is from a warmer clime than this dubious end of the U.K. and as a result has a differing complexion. The dog went fucking mental. That is all I am saying on the subject.

In regard to the other observations made in this post: You may form your own opinions, I'm sure you would anyway.

If you hated this blog you would genuinly dislike this book by the same muppet.